The first few moves of the sequence I had settled on in this position were:
- white B5
- black C7
- white A7
- black has many choices, D7, C7, C5, D4. By my reckoning all these lead to the B8 group dying.
What happened here was that after looking at the position for so long and having considered white B5 as the only move for so long I had forgotten that I had not yet played it. I worked so hard on trying to find the best move in this position that blundering like this makes me sick. I really don't care what happens in this game now. It is not making a bad move that upsets me so but making a blunder.